There are certain awards and certifications that your employer is desirous of. Once achieved these awards can be displayed, proudly, on letterheads, websites, and fleet vehicles. Their symbols telling the world, clients, partners and competitors that, here is a company that knows how to do business. Every deed, every action is performed in accordance with guidelines and frameworks that your employer adheres to with meticulous attention to detail.

(cough)

Whilst some accreditations need not much more than a bit of extra paperwork and some, vague, additional oversight, there are others that require a more, “Hands on” approach. That is when the company upper echelons, and their assorted HR muscle, find themselves in the disagreeable position of having to do something they really don’t want to.

Talk to the workforce.

I know… disgusting right?

Talk about a double-edged sword. On the one hand, that certification looks really tasty. On the other hand, “Oh no! We have to talk to the oiks! What if they talk back?”

You might go years without encountering anybody above local management. It’s nothing personal. They just don’t want to be seen with you. Suddenly, one day, they’re all over you like a rash. Group sessions. Meetings. Talks. Arriving in their flash cars, wafting around your place of business. Talking, shaking hands, asking you things. Showing an interest. Sharing.

“What is going on?”, you cry. “Why is this happening?”

Easy. They want something.

What you are dealing with is something called “Quality Management”. A series of techniques or principles that are intended to improve company performance. There are many words that will be bandied about. Process, fact, relationship, evidence, focus, leadership, are just some of them. But the word we are concerned with here is, “engagement”.

That’s where you come in.

Your job is to show an interest. But not too much of an interest. Just, nod politely, look appreciative, and mumble the occasional appropriate comment or question. Don’t worry, it’ll all be over soon.

Once your employer has passed their first audit and acquired their nice, shiny, award, they will cease being your number one adoring fan, retreat to the safety of their office and close the door. Surfacing only when the next review audit is due.

This sudden whirlwind of activity has now ceased. They have no further use for you.

What? You thought they liked you?

Aww. That’s cute.