It’s not all bad news though. As we wallow in our own imminent doom.

We tend to think of the end of humanity as the end of the world. (Well, aren’t we special?) The world has shrugged off extinction level events before, thank you very much, if you don’t mind.

The end-Permian, “Great Dying”, of 250 million years ago is not the most recent extinction level event, but was certainly the most sizable that we know of. Volcanic eruptions resulted in increased levels of atmospheric dust and CO₂, which gave rise to elevated global temperatures and acid rain that caused acidic seas with a depletion of dissolved oxygen. Along with possible methane emissions, this event wiped out perhaps as much as 96 percent of all species alive at that time, and took life on this planet the closest it has ever been to complete annihilation.

Yet, here we are.

After as quickly as 2 million or, as long as, 10 million years, life began to recover. You don’t need much. Get yourself a handful of microbes together, and they will set about the thankless task of cleaning up the mess. A couple of vertebrates here, some invertebrates there, then sprinkle patches of spores and seeds with some water, and wait.

After the End-Permian extinction, the dinosaurs which we all adore and make movies about, set up shop and took over the world for around 165 million years, albeit with an extinction level hiccough in the middle of their tenure. But, in terms of time-span alone, they can be considered a resounding success. Certainly, when compared to the hominid’s 8 million years.

So, what will happen after our current, humanity driven, End-Holocene extinction level event has run its course?

Once humanity has rendered itself no longer viable, and the last of us has choked to death on their own pleural effusion due to pollution caused respiratory disease, there is still plenty of time for something better to evolve.

In 2 million years ocean acidification will be reduced and coral reefs will be thriving. From 10 million years onwards planetary biodiversity will have, almost, recovered.

250 million years into the future the continents will have nudged themselves into one big fat supercontinent, and the result will be a rise in biological evolution and competition. A rise in the sun’s luminosity could cause increased volcanic activity and yet another extinction level event, but that’s the risk we take.

500 million years from now, life will become increasingly difficult on the surface of the planet. As the earth warms and CO₂ levels drop, life will head underground or migrate to the poles.

By “Post Humanum” 1 billion, much surface water will have either evaporated, or been subducted into the mantle and most, if not all, multicellular life on the surface of the planet will have died out.

After another 7 billion years, the red giant that used to be our sun, will have expanded to the point whereby it devours this planet. Our once paradise, by this time a dead rock stripped of its atmosphere by solar radiation and with its life already extinct for 6 billion years, will disappear in a puff of cosmic dust. Unnoticed by the greater universe.

Ho-hum.

It’s that little window, between today and 250 million years after tomorrow that matters. Plenty of time for something better, smarter, and less inclined to make dookie on its own doorstep to come along.

Perhaps our future evolutionary replacements will goggle at the detritus and fossilised remains of the naked ape that once had it all, and then blew it. Think they’ll make movies about us?

Pfft. Yes, yes, all hail the shareholder and whatnot.